Afternoon Snooze Button

One of the perks of running this blog is that every so often, I wake up in the morning and check my email and get some really nice fan emails. I love it, you guys are the greatest.

One of the non-perks of running this blog is that sometimes those emails are sent by guys who attach pictures of their penises. It happens on a very regular basis.

If you are one of the dick-senders, I apologize for not responding to your email. You have to understand that it’s pretty difficult coming up with a decent response to that. Here are some responses I’ve considered:

1. Thank you for your interest in submitting to afternoonsnoozebutton.com. Unfortunately, at this time, we are not posting pictures of cocks. Maybe by this time next year.
2. Congratulations! I see you have genitals. I have genitals, too. For that matter, so does the rest of the world.
3. 
   
4. Sorry, mine’s bigger.
5. Seriously, that thing? I’ve eaten bigger shrimp (and they weren’t even labeled jumbo shrimp). 
6. Hi, I’m Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC. Why don’t you have a seat over there?
7. That is the weirdest looking sea cucumber I’ve ever seen. I didn’t know they could survive out of water.
8. One of my role models is Lorena Bobbitt. Don’t tempt me.

I don’t really like any of those, so as of right now, I don’t have a decent response. So, until I come up with one, can we cool it with the crotch shots? I prefer my inbox without the side of amateur porn, thanks.