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Be entertained. Be informed.

Wait, I think I’ve found my new favorite worst website ever. "To love, honor, and vacuum" (I added in the Oxford comma) deals with pressing questions for modern Christian women, including:

  1. Is it okay for Christians to use sex toys? (Answer: No. “Most guys aren’t that big. And they can’t vibrate like that. Do you really want to get reliant on something your husband can never be for an orgasm?”)
  2. What’s a godly form of birth control? (Answer: the chart method. Keep a calendar, toss the condoms.)
  3. What should I do if my husband wants to be adventurous in bed? (Answer: New positions are okay, but be careful! This desire for adventure might be enabling his porn addiction!)
  4. What to do if I’m too loose to have sex? (Answer: Buy Kegel exercisers on Amazon. But be careful to make sure you don’t accidentally buy sex toys!)

You can read the whole hot mess and learn about how to correctly glorify god with your vagina here.

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  8. jeankirschteinkickflippingalone reblogged this from londonprophecy
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  12. mgann-morzz reblogged this from nooowestayandgetcaught
  13. nooowestayandgetcaught reblogged this from thevelosarahptor and added:
    I’m going to die laughing.
  14. thevelosarahptor reblogged this from professional-cockblocker
  15. professional-cockblocker reblogged this from reijys and added:
    Most guys aren’t that big. And they can’t vibrate like that. - this person obviously never read fanfiction
  16. reijys reblogged this from thrublackestnight
  17. thrublackestnight reblogged this from afternoonsnoozebutton
  18. viraru reblogged this from thefrogman
  19. gittalolita reblogged this from littlebitsoflust and added:
    …i really dont want to live here anymore
  20. littlebitsoflust reblogged this from hurricaine and added:
    Oh fuck. This might have just made my day!
  21. hurricaine reblogged this from thefrogman
  22. chanzlynn reblogged this from tigerlilyx and added:
    Reblogging for the above comment ^
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  25. calculatingmybirthright reblogged this from shainamazing
  26. shainamazing reblogged this from peircelouise and added:
    about like this book I found that suggests things like always giving in to your husband’s sexual demands and never...
  27. teetots reblogged this from thefrogman and added:
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omgg i can’t breathe.
  28. no-fandom-url reblogged this from thefrogman and added:
    This isn’t real, right?!
  29. alexthewolfy reblogged this from afternoonsnoozebutton