Afternoon Snooze Button

• Jon Stewart, the corporation, wants a million dollars.
• Jon Stewart has a 1984 Volvo “with a Pioneer tape deck” as collateral.
• Jon Stewart calls his “ratings agency,” who says his “piece of s—- Volvo” is worth “two and a half, three million bucks.”
• Jon Stewart uses his Volvo to borrow $1 million from the Fed, not at 9-30%, but at zero percent.
• (Jon Stewart gives himself a million dollar bonus for getting a million dollar loan on collateral of a piece of shit car.)
• Creditors now want Jon Stewart to pay them back.
• Jon Stewart creates a “dummy company to hide crap assets to inflate perception of your main company” - that is, he sells them his piece-of-shit Volvo.  For $2.5 million!
• “Who do you think you are?” Jon Stewart asks himself of his maneuver.  “Citigroup, who did exactly that?”
• Jon Stewart decides he needs to burn down a house to collect insurance funds with which to pay back creditors.  Insurance on something Jon Stewart doesn’t own!  Just like how AIG insured Goldman Sachs.
• Jon Stewart, caught up in his own shenanigans, is forced from his company.
• But it’s okay, Jon Stewart collects a severance package.  A taxpayer-funded $10 million severance package.

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